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And these are just *some* of the things people have been searching for. It’s good to know there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it!

There’s no avoiding it, so how do you deal with the difficult client?

“I don’t Know What I’m Paying For”

This client is only being half-sarcastic. They really don’t know what they’ve paid for. They’re the client you thought you were designing a page for, but when presented with the design they say “Why doesn’t it make me breakfast? Breakfast is what I was most concerned about, so what have you been doing all this time?”

You reply “You commissioned a design…did you speak to anyone about breakfast?”

They say “I don’t know, I gave you a lot of money and I expected breakfast, but no-one talked to me about breakfast and quite frankly I’m disappointed!”

Unfortunately, you weren’t in the initial meeting and the Account Manager (who was) seems equally baffled.

What To Do

This client never even mentioned they wanted breakfast, and a breakfast wasn’t part of your brief. The lesson here is the value of having written parameters for your work, getting the agreement of the client and keeping them informed about exactly what they should expect for their money and when. The difference between a design and breakfast may have to be explained from the outset to avoid confusion.

“Where Are We Today?”

This client rings every single day, sometimes twice a day, and demands updates on your work. They ask constant questions about the work and in the amount of time it takes you to manage them, you could have achieved the Nobel Prize-winning breakthrough in Particle Physics you’ve always dreamed about. You politely answered their questions for the first week or so, but now it’s getting ridiculous.

What To Do

Unfortunately, someone has to handle the client. If you have an Account Manager, get them to have a chat about the value of leaving you alone. If you don’t, you’ll have to do it yourself. Assure them that whilst you’re happy to answer any questions they might have, your time would be better spent working on their project. You’ll send them updates as and when they happen, and reply to any emails at the end of the day.

“Do This….Now Do That Instead”

This client is incapable of leaving things be. They put £100 into an Adwords campaign and then pause it the next day because they’re worried about the click-through-rate. After a long conversation they change the budget and question all the keywords. Despite the fact they’ve never used Adwords before and you have, they make drastic changes to the campaign every few hours, throughout the night, so that in the morning the campaign is unrecognisable and they’re almost crying with despair.

What To Do

Micro-managers are at their worst when they keep changing their minds – ultimately it’s their money and they get what they want, but since it’s your job to do a good job you have to persuade them to leave things along. Repeat the phrase “I’ve got a lot of experience in this sector” or maybe “You’re paying me to manage it, so let me manage it”. You may have to repeat this several hundred times.

“I Don’t Really Believe That”

This client, believe it or not, doesn’t believe you! The stats are wrong, they just can’t see their site getting that many visits, and how on earth could a keyword cost ten pounds?!. They’re not making any decisions based on your flawed analysis, they’re going to try whatever business plan they’ve plucked out of thin air instead.

What To Do

Incredulity often springs from ignorance, and this client probably doesn’t understand Adwords/Analytics/Whatever well enough to trust it. It’s your job to present them with hard data, and then convince them that data is correct. If all else fails try the trusty line “Would I lie to you?”

“That Cost £50k But You Can’t Have £5k To Manage It”

This client keeps pennies in a safe and uses £50 notes as handkerchiefs. They commission a website but refuse to pay for consultancy, or put thousands into Adwords and try to manage it themselves. The website lingers somewhere round page 450, the Adwords gets 8million clicks on irrelevant keywords and the client decides it’s all a bad job and sets up a market stall instead.

What To Do

For someone will this level of pathology I really don’t know what to say. Hit them with a stick?

“Could You Just Build Me A Pyramid While You’re At It?”

This client moves the goalposts as often as most people brush their teeth. A text amend turns into a redesign and extra functionality is somehow required and it all has to be brought it on time and on budget. The trouble is, the Account Manager okayed the first bit and it was a slippery slope from there. You’re not even sure what you’ve agreed to any more but £60 seems a bit low for a new website….

What To Do

Be aware of the difference between being helpful and being taken for a ride. Some people hate to pay for things and they’d rather go straight to the developer because they’re more likely to get what they want. If a client starts to make unreasonable demands, or asks for several amends in a short space of time, refer them to the Account Manager and suggest they might need to renegotiate the budget. If you can nip it in the bud you might save yourself a lot of hassle in the long run.

All of these clients are a nightmare to deal with, but if you can achieve three things you’ll be halfway there:

Educate the client so they know what to expect and why.
Be authoritative, don’t be bullied and explain your progress with confidence.
Communicate with the client and with the Account manager so everyone’s in the loop.