2009 – A Year In Which Piggynap Grew Up Somewhat

As I sit here, waiting for a plumber to come and fix a water pump so unreliable British Gas “won’t touch it”, my mind turns to the year just gone and what exactly I did with the last 12 months. As it turns out, a fair bit was accomplished. This may go down as the year I finally did stuff that adults are supposed to do – the first year I actually felt like a grown-up, as opposed to someone pretending to be a grown-up.

In 2008, I did the four things that in my mind make you an adult:

1) Got a Job
2) Got a Car
3) Got a House
4) Got a Boyfriend

In 2009, I’ve done all sorts of things that were only possible because of these ‘Pillars of Adulthood’.

Upgrading Hercules and Experiencing Debt

My car (see Pillar of Adulthood Number Two), although full of charm and character (like a leaky and perhaps haunted 17th century cottage) was actually monstrous to drive. Foot to the floor, it reached a dizzying 40mph after a good half minute, and when it got to motorway speed – normally helped by a downward slope – the deafening rattle made me question its structural integrity and cross my fingers that the doors would stay on.

My job (Pillar of Adulthood Number One) was putting money in my pocket almost faster than I could spend it – an illusion I later realised was caused by Living at Home – so naturally changing Hercules for something a little more drivable was on my mind. I’d always hankered after a sports car and so, after a terrifying test drive in which I discovered Hercules was no preparation for driving a real car, I purchased a ridiculously expensive two-seater beast…on credit.

I couldn’t sleep that night.

It’s funny, the dramatic shift from having money free each month, to being so far in your overdraft you don’t even look at your bank statements any more. For the first few weeks I went from manic glee at driving something I never thought I’d own, to dark worry at the financial hole I’d dug myself, to hollow self-assurance I could pay it off in no time.

I stopped buying clothes. I stopped eating out. I joined LoveFilm because the cinema was too expensive. I started saying things like “oh look this is on offer” and “it’s cheaper to make it yourself”. I even stopped going to town because the shops were filled with things I couldn’t have – it was too depressing.

Now, after a year of frugality and debt, I’m just about in a position where I can look at my bank statements again. I don’t even want to buy loads of stuff any more. I’ve made my ridiculous purchase, I’ve spent a year with the consequences, and I have a far greater appreciation for money than ever before.

Going on a Proper Holiday and Needing It

My boyfriend (Pillar of Adulthood Number Four) took us to the Maldives this summer. I’d never been outside Europe before or to a fancy resort, so this felt like my first proper holiday. We were probably the youngest couple on the island, but we made friends with other couples there – people who a few years ago I’d have dismissed as ‘a different generation’. The difference between 23 and 33 feels a lot smaller than that between 20 and 30.

What’s more, I needed that holiday. This year I’ve discovered that work can be hard, holidays few, and that week in the Maldives was the most relaxing experience of my entire life. I never understood why people go to a faraway land to stay in a posh resort away from all cultural experiences – now I do.

Working, Still

My first job at a web company was sort of a fluke, but in 2009 I landed an upgrade and what feels kind of like a career. I’ve been working in the SEO field for over two years now – not long enough to know everything, but long enough to be responsible for things, and to know ’stuff’ that makes me (I hope) a useful employee.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been working so long that being a student is a dim and distant memory. Maybe it’s because even at weekends I wake up at 7am and can’t go back to sleep. Having a job is so ingrained in my life now, it’s starting to feel a bit like a career. This year I’ve realised that work is now a Fact of Life, and having a good job – that’s enjoyable, at a good company, with people you like – is very important.

Doing a Scary Thing

I’m scared of spiders. The kind of scared that makes me jump around and make incoherent noises until someone fetches a glass and takes the big bad spider away while I cower in another room.

I’m also scared of public speaking. The kind of scared that makes me feel a bit sick, makes me crazy with worry, and even now I’m not sure why I agreed to speak at a conference earlier in the year. It’s so far outside my comfort zone I was actually hoping to be struck down by swine flu, or a car, right up until the day of the event. The best way to describe how I felt is probably ‘abject terror’.

Even so, when the time came I got up on stage in front of a room full of people and talked about some stuff. All by myself. And I survived. Afterwards, I felt like I’d been thrown into the sea and managed to swim to an island – I wasn’t happy or elated, I was just relieved it was over and sort of disbelieving that anyone had enjoyed my floundering.

The thing is, I know now that I can do it, and I know what I did good and what I did badly. Public speaking was one of my deepest darkest fears, but next time (next time!) I’ll do it better.

Moving Somewhere I Like

In 2008 I moved in with my boyfriend to a house (Pillar of Adulthood Number Three) in Harrogate – a house and an area I never liked. It should have been so nice and yet, it wasn’t. It never felt like home, and after saying this for a good few months we took notice of the fact we were only renting and could leave whenever we liked. In 2009 we moved to a flat in Boston Spa and it actually feels like home. Just like the whole career thing above, I don’t know why it feels that way – it just does. It’s smaller than the house, not as fancy inside, but it’s cosy and warm and I like it here.

What about 2010?

I don’t know what next year will bring. I have some nebulous plans about travel, and some more concrete plans about Projects, but whatever happens I feel pretty well equipped to deal with it. I know there are things I still can’t do, circumstances I’m as childish as ever…but in a lot of ways, I’m all grown up.

(Many thanks to sk8geek for the Think Vis photo)